Do you trust your partner?

I received an email recently in which a player asked about his partner. He said the partner had lost $220 scouting a hole card game with a $5 minimum. He said that he could usually tell in one or two hands if a dealer was good or not, and didn't I think this completely unreasonable for his partner to have lost so much.

First, can you scout a dealer in one or two hands? Usually no. I guess if you look at two hands and see absolutely nothing you can move on, but usually it takes longer than that. What if you sit down, and on the first hand you see the hole card clear as day. Then you play three more hands and get nothing. The fifth hand you see it pretty good, and then four more hands of nothing. You could easily play 10 hands before abandoning this game, and on some carnival games with multiple bets you can end up betting 10 times your initial wager. Is it unusual to lose $220 scouting a $5 carnival game? Absolutely not.

But this brings up a much more important question? Do you trust your partner? Did he lose $220 scouting? Or did he lose $20 and tell you it was $220 and put $200 in his pocket? If you are asking yourself these questions then you should really think long and hard about why he is your partner.

Secondly - Do you trust your partner's judgement? If my partner came back to the hotel room, and said he lost $1,000 because he also had to scout the craps, and roulette tables I wouldn't give it a second thought. Why? Because I trust his judgement. I know that he would not be on those games just because he likes to gamble. (Although I would ask what he had seen that would make him want to scout a craps or roulette game?)

Third, write this down and remember it: Every person is peculiar about money in their own way. We all have things we don't mind spending money on, and other things we don't like to spend money on. And mine are different than yours. Mine are different than anyone else, and yours are different than your partner's, or your wife's. So don't try to micromanage everything your partner does. Why were you betting $10 instead of $5? What difference does it make? If he is playing at -3% it costs him an extra 15 cents a hand to bet $10 instead of $5.

Partnerships are like marriages. Your partner may do things that drive you crazy, but like marriage, when it is good it is really, really good. So if you trust him, and you trust his judgement, then don't sweat the small stuff.